Soooo . . . What IS Your Story?!

xo ~ Tonya

Where The Sidewalk Ends, Your Journey Begins

What if the path you were navigating towards pursuing a goal or dream came to an abrupt stop?!  What if you found yourself standing just shy of achievement & having seemingly run out of road?!  Just because the path you are following or the dream/ goal you are pursuing suddenly comes to an unexpected halt or seems to have not worked out, OR failed to bring you to a place of anticipated fulfilment as you had believed it would, does not mean it wasn’t right or that you were not meant to have your dream.   It also does not necessarily mean that you are done or that you have reached the end.

Perhaps THIS is where the real journey of pursuit begins; real adventures, some tough challenges too maybe, but perhaps this is where you get to pave a new way . . . an even better way to show the world & yourself not only how bad you want it, but that you are not afraid to keep going forward in pursuit of your dreams, in pursuit of making your vision for this life a reality & fulfilling your life’s purpose . . . that despite being knocked down or encountering challenges you are an active participant in your own life & you are not going to quit!  Sometimes an ending isn’t an ending at all but the opportunity, a gift, for you to continue to fulfill your purpose & reach your destiny . . . it may be that you are being re-directed though.  This can be very, very hard to see sometimes . . . a lot of times in fact.  Set backs can be very painful & they can cause us to feel incredibly angry & resentful.  A way of life that we came to know & be familiar with, that we were happy in suddenly changing course can be a hard pill to swallow . . . yes, life can be hard & it can make us feel very sad, very lost, very alone & even very beat up.  But I have to believe & I choose to believe that life never takes anything away from us or changes things so drastically for the purpose of completely derailing us or causing us hurt.  NOPE!  I choose to believe, as hard as it can be at times, that life is always presenting us with gifts & opportunities to continue fulfilling our life purpose, learning throughout the process & always directing us towards our goals, our dreams & our vision.  I choose to believe that while it may appear that we have been set off course, that we in fact have been redirected or shown another way or been given the chance to carve out our own way because it will still take us to where we want to go & where we need to be as well as teach us what we need to learn to continue growing as we move through & towards all of it. 

I choose to believe that no matter how many times “the sidewalk ends,” life never really ends there, nor does our journey.  I choose instead to believe that my life’s purpose is being lived in the small actions I take each day to live my purpose & I’m on the right path, because I will end up where I’m meant to be & life will not abandon me . . . we all end up where we are meant to be because we all have a purpose.  We all have a really wonderful purpose & life wants us to live that to our fullest potential.

xo ~ Tonya

“FFS” . . . No It’s Not What You Think

The FEAR of FAILURE so we SETTLE . . . oh hell NO!  THIS is NOT your destiny!  THIS is NOT the end result of this gift of life which you have been given!   THIS is NOT the embodiment of all that you are nor all that you were meant to become!  THIS is NOT your epitaph!  NO . . . you were born with a purpose.  You were born with a vision.  Life may have knocked you down several times & put the boots to you, but you are here for a reason & it’s not only your responsibility but your destiny to fulfill the purpose for which life has put you here on this earth.

It’s simple . . . YOU DON’T GET TO QUIT!  You don’t get to stay down when you get knocked down.  You don’t get to lose yourself in what you have come to believe are failures or “signs from the universe,” that you are not good enough nor will you ever be.  OH NO YOU DON’T!  And I can say this to you because I allowed myself to believe that BS for far too long.  Yeah . . . life can be freaking hard.  Some days it even “sucks.”  And life can throw you some really shitty days.  Life will deliver pain & loss.  But you have a choice . . . you always have a choice.  You can choose to accept this or you can GET BACK UP & KEEP GOING!  It’s not about how many times you get knocked down in life.  It’s not about how many times you did something & it didn’t work out.  No.  It’s about wether or not you get up & you keep going.

I no longer believe that the hardships, the failures, the pain are “signs” for me to throw in the towel & give up on my dreams, my vision & what I know is my purpose.  I’ve changed my mindset & yes, some days it’s difficult as hell, however I owe it to myself & I owe it the people I love the most in my life to never give up!  And what if . . . what if all of what we have convinced ourselves to be our failures are simply the experiences we have to live through in order to continue moving in the direction of what is our true DESTINY!  What about that?!?!?

You see we all have the same final destination in life.  It doesn’t matter how rich you are, how famous you are, how strong you are or anything else.  We all share that final stop in life . . . death.  So what if you chose to live your life like you were dying!  Now listen carefully . . . “I’m not implying or suggesting we choose to live in ‘fear of dying’ or rushing through life making haphazard decisions or living all ‘business-like’ because death is imminent.”  What I am asking you is this  . . .

 “What if we choose to live life never giving up on our vision, our dreams & our purpose because in truth life is a temporary stop for us all.  We have one shot to grow, contribute, experience & give this life our ALL . . . everything that we are!  We have this one shot to become everything that we are meant to be, everything that we are destined to be & to do it with the spirit of a warrior.  What if we choose to believe that the vision we hold in our mind, for what we want our life to look like & be like is absolutely possible for the simple fact that we can SEE it . . . & that is enough because that vision we hold in our minds is no accident!   What if we choose to get back up as many times as we need to, in order to keep moving towards our greatest purpose . . . our DESTINY!  

xo ~ Tonya

Get UP . . . On Purpose!

xo ~ Tonya

Living With Purpose. Living ON Purpose

xo ~ Tonya

These Quirky, Wonderful Pieces Of Me

Let me tell you a story about my T-Shirt . . . but you first need to know that I absolutely LOVE T-shirts!  Okay, on with my story . . .

A few years ago I was attending a workshop in Las Vegas & I was wearing this T-shirt.  Three fun-filled hours into team building exercises & LMAO activities with my group & one of the ladies approaches me & says, “I really think your shirt sends a very negative message about you & it is devaluing your self-worth.  You are not someone in pieces.  You are whole & you are beautiful.  I really don’t think you should be wearing it . . . ever.”

Hmmmmm . . . #foodforthought!  Now the woman who said this to me was absolutely lovely!  She really was & she was one of the participants I’d connected with almost instantly.  She was in no way trying to make me feel bad or put me down. Her comment came from a very sincere place of authenticity & kindness.  However, it took all my willpower to not run back to my room & change into a different shirt, because back then I was someone who took very much to heart what other people said, what their opinions were & I made a lot of decisions & choices based on those influences.  So much to learn from my places of fear . . . hey?!

The truth is we have absolutely no control over what others say. However, we have all the control in what it is we choose to hear in their words.  So rather than attach a negative memory or meaning to a simple item of clothing that I really loved for it’s humour, I changed my perspective & gave that moment with this woman a whole different meaning for me.  I chose to turn her words into a message that was more empowering for me.  I chose to see the whole experience differently so that it gave me strength & took me out of a place of fear & uncertainty.  

I do not come in pieces & broken bits, all damaged & scattered about.  I come in a collection of colourful, amazing & creative pieces that are the sum total of everything that I am today.  All of these pieces are parts of my story that have made me into the woman that I am & I embrace all of my pieces because they fit together & weave the story of my life.  

And as for you?  I hope with all my heart that you too embrace all of your pieces because they are the very fabric of your story.    And they are as beautiful, as unique & as special as you are.  Wear your pieces proudly & give them a meaning that empowers you, give them a meaning that builds you up, give them a meaning that is filled with compassion & love 💗.  And whatever you do . . . do not hide the pieces of you, because to do so robs this world of experiencing you in your greatest authenticity of all that you are & all that you continue to become.  

It has taken me a long time to be able to see things this way, but then again it is all a part of my process and growth.  I may come in pieces, but I am not broken!  I am a collection of all the experiences I’ve had that are all a part of my story . . . & it is my story.  It is a story filled with joy & sadness, adventure & learning, love & loss, victories & defeats . . . & it is continuously being written every single day & for that I am extremely grateful.

I am not broken . . . I am whole . . . & I am a collection of everything that has shaped me.  I am a colourful, quirky collection of all the pieces of who I am . . . & I am okay with that.  This is me <3.

xo ~ Tonya