I may come under fire for what I’m about to say but I really DGAF . . . not anymore. I’ve come under so much fire in the last few years for so many things that really are utter BS that I’ve got nothing to lose at this point by being brutally honest; brutally honest again & still. Honesty . . . interesting how it’s what so many claim to want from the world yet when given an audience to another’s honesty they attack. They attack because they feel attacked themselves. Seriously!? When you ask me for my honesty then please have the integrity to hear it for just that, MY honesty . . . not a perception or belief that I’m trying to get you to adopt or even believe in. Just be the fucking observant listener to what you asked for . . . my honesty. And if you don’t agree or see it that way then that’s okay. Honestly! If you ask for what is my truth then have the courage & courtesy to hear it. Simple. If you are looking to hear only what you want to hear, or to be validated in what your truths are . . . then don’t ask me for mine because they may not align with yours. That’s life folks & that’s what makes it crazy, sometimes complicated by our own design, many times funny, often challenging in beautiful ways & it is what always allows us the opportunity to learn, to grow & to embrace an even clearer & greater state of awareness; to infinitely expand our consciousness to accept without having to always agree, to be open to differences while still being able to love others just as they are. HONESTY . . . honestly.
So here is a little bit of my truths which may or may not offend. I’m not asking you to agree, to validate or to applaud. I ask nothing . I’m a writer & when something strikes a nerve . . . I write. My writing can be very dark at times, it can also be filled with the greatest of hope & light . . . & many times my writing will strike a nerve in others. So here’s the 2 degree shift I’m going to suggest if that’s the case with anyone reading this right now. If any of this hits a nerve, perhaps just acknowledge that. Acknowledge within yourself that it hit a nerve, that you don’t agree, that it hurt your feelings, that it goes against everything you believe in, that it pissed you off OR . . . maybe you agree & better yet . . . maybe you don’t agree at all. Agree to disagree?! Hell yes! And leave it at that. If you can’t then ask yourself, “What am I so afraid of? What about this makes me feel so mad; so pissed off?” If you only find security in the belief that the rest of the world sees all your experiences & life lessons through your eyes & has carbon copy perceptions of your own, then you are deluded; and you are probably very sad a lot of the time. It takes a great deal of energy to get the whole world on board with a single perception or belief . . . honestly.
We all have free will of personal choice. We can choose to let everything that goes against our beliefs & moral framework make us so angry that we react to everything. Shit . . . that’s going to take up a lot of time. Or we can choose to speak out on those things that rattle us to our core, that we are compelled by passion & that can not be quieted. Passion . . . never let that go unspoken. Live with passion & follow your passion. Continue to feed your passion & by default your soul. Never allow another individual to corner you into indifference & ultimately into silence.
However, before taking up arms to crucify someone for their words, their truth & having the courage to speak, step back & ask yourself if you are being fueled to react by your passion or by your EGO?! In my humble opinion, one is driven & navigated through the heart. The other . . . through fear. Do not let fear keep you from really hearing someone else. You will not agree with everyone you meet, hell you won’t even like everyone you meet. Guess what? Not everyone who meets you is going to like you either. Sorry . . . another truth. You are not always going to agree with everything you hear. Guess what, sometimes a lot of the things you do not agree with will be spoken by the people you love most in this world. Guess what else? It doesn’t freakin’ matter! It only matters if you allow a difference of opinions to tear apart & dismantle those relationships that are of the greatest, priceless value to you. It only matters if YOU allow it to destroy something that is built & held together by a force far greater & far more powerful than just words.
I’m in no way implying that there are not deal-breakers. There has to be deal-breakers otherwise we become doormats & allow ourselves to go unvalued, belittled & unloved. We allow ourselves to become invisible & that is not allowed. Not ever! But I’m not talking about those things in what I’m writing about here. I’m talking about putting our fragile little ego’s aside to have the awareness that, disagreeing does not have to escalate into destroying & dismantling another person’s value or what they believe to be true, for them . . . honestly.
We have all messed up! That is where our greatest learning happens! It also happens to be what shapes a lot of our beliefs & truths. So before we attack, before we judge, before we accuse someone else of not understanding or saying to them “you don’t get it,” I’m going to ask you one thing . . .
Be strong & fearless in speaking your truth. Speak kindly, be courteous, have compassion but do not fear to speak your truth. And in this have the courage to allow others to speak theirs . . . honestly.
xo ~ Tonya